Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
