Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
