He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Someone came in the potted fern
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
