he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
