Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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