I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
