i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
