You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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