Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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