Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
