brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
wow bdsm is so cute
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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