That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
