I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I could make wine with my vomit
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
