what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize