i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
