I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
