it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
