You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
