Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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