Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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