Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
