you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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