I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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