My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
