i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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