his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
