This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
