watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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