What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
