You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I look excited, but its just a facade.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
