Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
