hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
So squirting runs in the family.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
