im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
