Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
