At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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