You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
