just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
