I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
