have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
