I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
