I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
