Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Someone shattered a urinal.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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