Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
