as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
