Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
