they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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