I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
