I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
