so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
