well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
