On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Randomize
