is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
tell me about the eggs
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
