Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
