Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
