It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize